Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
