is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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