Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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