Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
