People in love make me want to vomit
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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