I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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