summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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