hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
