I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize