There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
