4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
