this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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