I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
