p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
wow bdsm is so cute
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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