Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
