I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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