Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize