On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
