he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
