So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize