Quick, to the slutcave!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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