I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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