we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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