Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize