I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
