They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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