we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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