Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
