When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
