If i come over, it means nothing
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
where does the pee come out of this thing
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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