Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
