question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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