yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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