i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
