She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
