If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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