I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
