oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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