...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
