i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We need a shit load of segways right now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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