Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
