i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
