Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
