dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
