is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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