Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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