I feel like abortions should bother me more
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
