Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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