Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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