my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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