This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
