This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
