You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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