Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am full of burrito and curiosity
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
