There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
