Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
