yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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