The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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