I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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