Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
