do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
