I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm always down for nudity.
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