Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
