SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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