want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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