dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
