He is such a slut. More and more my type.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
