yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Quick, to the slutcave!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
